Mastering Confidence: Practical Ways to Succeed at Work
Have you ever felt like your confidence at work is holding you back from reaching your full potential?
That was me a year ago. I was terrified of making small talk with colleagues, as a non-native English speaker. The thought of going to the office filled me with dread, and I even struggled to ask questions properly during team stand-ups, which led to inefficiencies in my workload.
Fast forward to today, and I now present my design ideas with clarity and confidence in front of executives. 
Recently, I received feedback that my confidence had skyrocketed, making me seem like a completely different person.
What sparked this dramatic transformation?
How did I go from being so fearful to exuding confidence at work?
Getting over the fear of speaking English and feeling more confident at work was about more than just improving my language skills. It needed a complete approach to communication and personal growth.
In this article, I’ll reveal the secrets and 5 practical steps that helped me grow my confidence, and how you can do the same.
1. Read a book about confidence
Just about a year ago, I found myself hesitant and insecure, especially during team stand-ups. I was too shy and worried about speaking English improperly. I left the Zoom meeting feeling ashamed and thinking,
“What’s happening to me? Why can’t I ask small questions to the team? How did I lose all my confidence?”
That’s when I realised I had a serious problem. The fear of not being able to communicate effectively was paralysing as a designer. I knew I needed to tackle this issue head-on, and the first step I took was to read a book about confidence.
It might sound cliché to start with a book, but that’s precisely what I did when I had no idea where to begin. I turned to “The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance — What Women Should Know.” The title intrigued me, and I decided to dive in.
As I read, I discovered that confidence is not an innate trait but a skill that can be developed. As Tom Kelley said, “Confidence is like a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger it gets.” It can be strengthened through effort and experience. Understanding the science behind it was eye-opening.
The 4 Chemistry of Confidence
The Chemistry of ConfidenceDopamine: The book explains that dopamine, the “reward” neurotransmitter, plays a crucial role in building confidence. Every time we achieve a goal, no matter how small, dopamine is released, making us feel good and reinforcing the behaviour. This creates a positive loop where success breeds more confidence.Serotonin: I learned that serotonin, which contributes to feelings of well-being and happiness, also boosts confidence. Activities that increase serotonin, such as exercise and mindfulness, can help you feel more assured.Oxytocin: Known as the “love hormone,” oxytocin fosters social bonds and trust. Building strong relationships and social connections can enhance your confidence in interacting with others.Endorphins: These natural painkillers reduce stress and promote a sense of well-being, helping you to feel more relaxed and confident. Activities like exercise, laughter, and even eating certain foods such as dark chocolate can help increase endorphin levels.
Reading “The Confidence Code” taught me that confidence grows with use and can be nurtured through effort and experience, not just language skills. This initial step laid the groundwork for my transformation, giving me the tools to build my confidence, one step at a time. You can find how I improved each hormone in the steps below.
2. Create your confidence ladder and start small
Reading books helped, but I knew I needed more than just theory. I needed actionable steps and professional guidance. Thankfully, our company offers a free consulting service with LifeStreet. I decided to utilise it and seek help from a counsellor.
During our first session, I shared my struggles and fears about speaking up at work. She listened intently and then asked me to imagine a 10-step ladder for my confidence.
What is your north star?“Let’s imagine a 10-step ladder for your confidence,” she said. “What would be on the 10th rung that makes you absolutely anxious? What would be your ultimate goal in your confidence?”
My ultimate goal was to give a public speech in English to a large audience. Just thinking about it made me feel anxious and breathless. She reassured me, saying,
“No one would want to start by going for the 10th step from the beginning as that might pose too much anxiety and be overwhelming, even causing a backfire. Instead, let’s focus on the first step that’s just a little bit out of your comfort zone. What would that be?”
I realised that starting with making natural small talk with colleagues could be my initial step. This was a small, manageable task that I could practice regularly. Once I felt comfortable with that, I could move on to more challenging steps, like giving presentations to smaller groups and eventually leading workshops.
Many steps along the way
She then gave me a task: “Identify the other steps along the way. Think about what manageable tasks you can do to gradually build your confidence.”
Creating my confidence ladder made the daunting task of building confidence feel achievable. Each small step was a victory, gradually leading to larger, more challenging tasks. This methodical approach transformed my fear into manageable steps, each bringing me closer to my goal.
Here’s how I structured my confidence ladder:
Starting Out
Greet and make small talk with colleaguesAsk questions in team meetingsShare an idea or suggestion in team meetingsParticipate in a small group discussion (2–3 people)
Gaining Momentum
Lead a small group discussion (2–3 people)Give a short presentation to a small group (2–3 people)Present to a middle-sized group (4–6 people)Facilitate a team meeting or workshop (4–6 people)
Building Mastery
Lead a training session or workshop for your departmentPresent to senior leadership or C-level executivesSpeak at an all-hands or company-wide meetingGive a talk or presentation at a professional event or conferenceDeliver a keynote speech at a large conference or event
Starting with the easiest tasks, I gradually built up my confidence and skills. Setting small goals gave me dopamine boosts that reinforced my confidence as I moved up each rung. By taking these steps, I transformed my fear into confidence, one rung at a time.
3. Go to the office
Last year, our company had a flexible hybrid policy, with optional office visits once a week. I went in mainly for socialising. This limited interaction severely affected my confidence, especially in small talk, as I mostly spoke with my partner at home.
Later, our company mandated office visits twice a week. Initially, I dreaded it since working from home was my comfort zone. Uneasy feelings filled me, but deep down, I knew a change was needed. So, I decided to embrace the new routine with a hopeful heart.
When I started going to the office twice a week, I faced many uncomfortable situations. Small talk, lunch with colleagues, and in-person meetings became part of my routine. Surprisingly, these “uncomfortable things” turned into joyful moments where I got to know people better. I became more outgoing by mingling with others.
Be active and alive
Physical activity in the office, like walking to meetings or being active during the day, increased my serotonin levels, making me feel better and more relaxed. Building stronger social connections with colleagues boosted my oxytocin levels, making social interactions easier and more enjoyable.
In-person work also improved efficiency. Quick chats replaced long messages, and non-verbal cues like eye contact and facial expressions, and body language made communication smoother and more meaningful.
By stepping out of my comfort zone and embracing the opportunity to interact with colleagues in person, I fostered a more positive and confident version of myself.
4. Find a mentor and build a positive feedback loop
When I discover a problem, my usual approach is to share it with others who are more experienced and seek their help. This not only provides fresh perspectives but also offers solutions I might have yet to consider.
I explained my situation to my seniors and managers, who had more experience in overcoming work-related confidence issues. Although they were all native English speakers and couldn’t fully relate to my struggles with the language, they understood the broader issue of work confidence, having faced similar challenges at different points in their careers.
Your mentors are ready to listen
Sharing my problems with mentors who could offer advice was a great relief. I didn’t have to suffer alone trying to resolve everything by myself. My mentors were instrumental in identifying the right moments for me to practice and build my confidence.
1st Challenge: Co-facilitate a small workshop with the support of senior designers
Initially, the idea of leading any part of a workshop was daunting, but the senior designer’s help was invaluable. Their guidance and reassurance made me feel more comfortable and capable. The first few times, I was nervous and stumbled through my words, but each experience taught me something new and improved my skills.
After each session, the senior designers and my manager provided constructive feedback, highlighting what I did well and where I could improve. This feedback loop was crucial in building my confidence. Every successful facilitation, no matter how small, acted as a confidence booster. I could feel my confidence muscle growing with each step.
2nd Challenge: Facilitate user interviews
Another key moment was when my manager suggested I focus on user interviews. She facilitated these interviews alongside senior designers and even helped put together the script. By observing her and the other designers in action, I learned valuable skills and techniques. Watching them run through interviews with participants provided me with a clear example to follow and demystified the process.
Confidence is like muscle
As my confidence grew, I felt a surge of dopamine after each successful interaction, driving me to push myself further. This positive feedback loop of effort, success, and reward made me eager to take on more challenging tasks. I realised again that confidence, much like muscle, strengthens with consistent exercise and the right support. Over time, these small wins added up and boosted my overall confidence.
5. Set the Scene for Unstoppable Success
Once you’ve achieved a positive brain state, it’s crucial to maintain and build on that momentum. Creating an environment and building habits that foster continued growth can ensure that your newfound confidence and competence continue to thrive.
Here’s how I set the scene for unstoppable success:
a. Set achievable goals
Setting achievable goals was crucial to keeping my motivation high and avoiding early discouragement. I focused on small steps just outside my comfort zone, like starting casual conversations with colleagues. By objectively evaluating my progress, I ensured each goal was manageable, helping me maintain momentum and grow my confidence.
A strong relationship becomes anchor
b. Build genuine connections
Once I established bonds, they became anchors, keeping me from slipping back into old fears. Sharing meals and participating in team activities fostered a growing sense of belonging and support. These connections made the workplace feel safer and continuously reinforced my confidence, helping it grow stronger every day.
c. Engage in continuous learning and sharing
Engaging in continuous learning gave me an expert perspective, boosting my confidence. Sharing my content with my audience and receiving positive feedback energized me, creating a positive loop. Each piece I shared not only reinforced my knowledge but also gave me a dopamine boost, fueling my drive to keep going.
By setting up an environment and building habits that supported these confidence-boosting practices, I created a sustainable loop where competence led to confidence. This loop became a powerful engine for my personal and professional growth, turning fear into fuel for success.
The New Me
Feeling my new self
So, after learning and practising all of that during the past year, what do I look like now?
I want more opportunities to present in front of people. Of course, I still feel nervous or tense before I present, but I know I will nail it, and I feel confident about it. This newfound eagerness to embrace challenges is a stark contrast to how I felt just a year ago.
Back then, even the thought of speaking up in meetings filled me with dread. Now, my brain has been reset with all the positive hormones since last year.
Once you get the hang of it and create a positive loop, you’ll see yourself transform completely. I still need to climb up to the mastery rung on my ladder, but I’m confident I’ll achieve that in the future. I’ll keep you updated once I master everything 🙂
Thank you for reading my story. 😊 I hope it’s given you valuable insights and inspiration for boosting your work confidence.
After reading this, what’s the first step that comes to mind for you? And what’s the big goal you’re aiming to conquer? Share your thoughts or feedback in the comments — I’d love to hear from you!
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How I Transformed Work Confidence: 5 Realistic Steps was originally published in UX Planet on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
